‘Belonged to something eternal’: For decades, priest and family share faith and friendship

Above: Monsignor Staib stands with Aimee and Peter Nguyen at baby Caroline’s baptism. 

It’s been almost 35 years since Father Donald Staib traveled to a refugee camp in the Philippines to meet the Nguyen Family.

At the time he was pastor of Immaculate Conception in Durham and the parish was sponsoring a Vietnamese family of six to come to America. It wasn’t a new journey for the priest. He’d made that type of trip four times before.

Father Staib met Phuoc, the family’s father, Khen, the mother, and Tuan, Khen’s younger brother. He also met Phuoc and Khen’s children — sons Duc and Son and daughter Diep. They had arrived in the Philippines by way of asylum in Hong Kong. Like nearly two million others between 1975 and 1995, the family fled their home country of Vietnam because of political persecution, economic hardship and violence.

When he got home, the priest showed photos of the family to parishioner Pat Walters, who was involved with raising money, furniture and necessities to prepare for the Nguyens. It was her fourth time setting up a home and preparing for a family.

Looking at the photos, she counted six family members in the pictures but later noticed seven names on the government paperwork. It turned out that Khen was pregnant and expecting the baby to be born just months before the family’s planned departure for America. 

As the story goes, Father Staib was a little concerned about the parish’s ability to assist seven, especially considering one would be a newborn baby. The worries must have subsided, though, because the family of seven arrived at RDU Airport Aug. 28, 1992. They were greeted by a large group from the church and some distant relatives.

Phuoc and Khen began raising their family and working. Pat helped care for the baby while the parents were at work. The children attended school and excelled. Khen opened a tailor shop in North Gate Mall. Immaculate Conception parishioners became friends with the family and enjoyed teaching the children things like how to swim.

The baby, named Peter, would grow up and know that “God already knew there would be enough – enough generosity, enough love and enough grace … I was part of the plan.” He wrote his college admissions essay about the family, the priest and being born with no country to call his own.

“But I had a Church that claimed me. Through baptism, I belonged to something eternal,” he told NC Catholics. “Father didn’t just help us once and disappear. He stayed. He became family. That’s what made the difference.”

Peter became a U.S. citizen in 3rd grade. Today he is a husband and father. He still lives in North Carolina but moved east to New Bern. Some of his older siblings live and own restaurants there. His parents live nearby in Morehead City. His daughter, Caroline, was baptized in 2024 at St. Paul in New Bern by the same priest who baptized him in 1992 at Immaculate Conception in Durham.

That priest was, of course, Father Staib, who became Monsignor Staib in 2020 when Pope Francis named him a chaplain to his holiness with the title of monsignor. Those close to him know that serving refugees has always been important to him, and he helped sponsor numerous refugees to come to America.  

Peter Nguyen was the 100th. Today he can reflect on the priest whose ministry included care and presence. When Peter was a child, Father Staib was there for his sacraments. He traveled with the family to Vietnam; one of the trips was to Con Dau, a village Peter’s ancestors called home.

Over the years there were many shared meals, trips to Christmas parades and viewings of July 4th fireworks. When Peter married his wife, Aimee, in 2021, Monsignor Staib officiated. The priest was, of course, just as involved in the lives of Peter’s older siblings.  

After a change in political climate in the ‘90s, the sponsorships ended. Father Staib took a year-long sabbatical to Vietnam to live his faith and teach English at a seminary in Nha Trang. There, he could live on $7 a day, learn a new culture and ride his bicycle every day.

“He’s welcoming and open minded. He doesn’t put people down,” Peter said. “I call him whenever I need advice or help … he’s a big part of our family. He makes a point to stay involved. For him to do Caroline’s baptism was very important to me.”  

It was a happy day for Monsignor Staib, who said he felt lucky to have not only the recent photo with baby Caroline but the one from 1992 with Peter.

When asked if it’s common to baptize the child of someone he baptized, Monsignor Staib smiled and laughed, “It’s not that often, but I’m so old.”

As he approaches 65 years of the priesthood this spring, he also approaches his 91st birthday. It’s been about four decades since far-away journeys were part of his vocation. But those connections he made are still felt close to home in North Carolina.  

“We are expecting a son due end of March,” said Peter. “And we are hoping Monsignor Staib will be able to do this baptism too!”

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